Kape, ito ang Sagot.

Pffft. (EDITED but with same thought.)

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 07:35:00 +0000

While I'm still working on the transfer from Blogger to Wordpress... pansamantala muna akong nag-a-update sa aking Livejournal. Okay!

I'm having difficulty transferring the archives! Phew. I already messed up my webspace and archives and the Wordpress application installed by Ate Sienna. Ang sakit sa puso.

(Mga ten years pa bago ko maayos itong tissuepaperworld. Malapit na!)

Siguro pag mahaba na uli ang bangs ko.

Jobless and Happysad in Manila.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 17:29:00 +0000

Where to start?

So I'm neither here nor there.

It's good to be home, though. Sabi nga ni Tito Oye: Iba ang langit sa Pilipinas.

But it's also unnerving to see that things are still the same.

As always, there was so much I wanted to say before I started writing but now that I am writing there's suddenly nothing to write. Blahblahblah.

Yung mga emails na hindi ko pa masagot, pasensya na. Medyo nakalutang pa ako.

Hmmmmm. Hibernation mode: ON

On People Who Leave.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 06:27:00 +0000

En is leaving for Canada. (I don't know when because he won't say.)

Mama is leaving for LA next month.

Vanny might leave for London this year.

Jang might leave for Italy after the bar exams.

Leaving and being left, what's the difference? It's all just about sadness.

When I came back from Las Vegas, so much has changed, and yet so much remained the same. I wish that when these people come back (if they ever will), I wish... I wish that there will be some changes, but that there will also be familiar things.

What makes us come back anyway? What makes us leave?

Today is a sad day. All this Buddhism stuff on living in the moment is sometimes so hard to live by. Because I end up concentrating on a minute, a second, a millisecond, when it's supposed to be more than that. I don't know. Now I'm typing this and I'm trying hard to just type this, focus my mind on typing this, no past no future, just typing this, finding joy in typing this blog entry.

Or when I'm crying I focus on crying, no other moment but that, crying I'm crying I'm crying now now now, nothing else matters. But what was the reason of this crying episode anyway? And then there it is! A past! A future! And so I tell myself the only thing that matters is the now, you're crying, just cry, just cry.

I'm eating a burger, I should just focus on that burger. I'm eating the pickle now, I'm wiping the ketchup from my lip now, I'm crumpling the wrapper so I can bite this part of the bread now, I'm chewing now, chewing chewing chewing chewing... I'm swallowing, THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS, THIS MOMENT IS ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS

No past no future!

Do not allow the past to get you, don’t be attached to the past because the past is already gone. Do not allow the future, worries about the future, to get you, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be truly alive, and that is the present moment. All the wonders of life can be touched in that moment. So the Buddha was clear on that. Everything belonging to life is there in the present moment; the blue sky, the beautiful face of your child is there, available in the present moment. If you get lost in the future, in worries about the future, or in sorrow about the past, life will not be available to you. So the basic condition is to go back to the present moment, to allow yourself to be touched by the wonders of life. -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Live in the moment, live in the moment. I'm going to click the publish button now, THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Where most of my Internet time is spent.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 15:07:00 +0000

BatJay (Mga Kwentong Tambay ng Siraulo sa Timog Kalipornya. Panalo Ito.)
Gerry (Photoblog of a Guy with the Grooviest Hair I Ever Saw)
Ate Sienna (Gay Speak is the Bomb! And her posts are hilarious! Hello Ate Sienna!)
Heather (Her writing is both funny and poignant. She also writes here)
Waiter Rant (Coolness.)
BahagHari (One Word: Malupit)

You might never want to eat at KFC. Ever. Again.

Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.

_______________________________________________________________

PS: I miss Vegas.
I wish the past wouldn't just sneak up on us and make us feel so low.
got this from waiterrant: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

It's late and sleep isn't coming yet. Since I came home my sleeping pattern has been screwed up. I force myself to sleep, I force myself to get up in the morning. Everything nowadays is about forcing myself. I just want to want again. I want to want something so badly. It's sad I seem to have forgotten how good it feels to want something with all my heart, to work hard for it, blahblahblah. I'm stuck fuck.

Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.
Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.
Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.

Another 5 am in this city.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 20:54:00 +0000

I wake up thinking of Baguio, and of how cold it must be there now. One September morning in the city I am in love with, wow.

If my feet aren't that frozen (because the blanket always ends up on the floor), I get up and look out the window to see how things are outside. If it's raining, a Baguio morning will look really drab, but somehow you just know that the day will turn out okay.

I like the long walk to the waiting shed, the ocassional dog shit, how the cold makes my nose hurt, how my jacket is snug and warm, how the pine trees are proud, how the first jeepney that comes can only load 12 people, how there is one more seat for me, how things seem to fall into place... in this little city where my heart soars and sings.

Mandaluyong is a dream, too. If I think about it harder, and with conviction, Mandaluyong is where I really should be. Because whenever I am not in this city where I grew up, I always long for it's familiarity, too.

Sometimes I wonder if Mandaluyong takes offense when I yearn for Baguio like I do now.

In other news, what was it that you wanted to say about my all-natural underarm hair?

(see post below, the photo is still there)

Because someone emailed to say that:
1) I should always activate the comments
2) I should do better things with my life

Guess what? This is my blog. And I will do what I please. Woohoo. (And because I want to, comments are allowed for this post.)

Good morning and good night.

Write how good it feels before you forget it.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 17:50:00 +0000

I spent the day with Jang and Tiki (it's still Monday since I haven't slept yet) at Cubao.

The frustration over the lack of a job, and how shitty it really feels, gets to me 234,675,897 times a day. I can apply for a writing job (or anything related to it) and I will probably get in and I will probably leave it again. But when I think of the daily commute, waking up the same time everyday, the routine, etc., I somehow feel better that I won't have to do any of those as of now.

So what if I don't have money, right? But yeah of course I'm applying for jobs, more than a month since Las Vegas and I'm still unemployed, ang laos laos ko.

Anyway, I'm happy right now and I like to think that's all that matters.

(And if being jobless means I get to spend more time with my favorite people, then...)

By the way, I asked Jang to take a photo of my underarm hair and gigantic arm.

(This entry is an excuse to post this nonsense photo. Amen.)

Portia, we miss you!

Every time I am with you, I wish for time to freeze.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 17:56:00 +0000

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:40:00 +0000

New template!

I'm trying out other templates so if you come back here and the template is different again, that means... I'm still tweaking. Anyway. My sentences often start in So anyway. It's annoying. So! Anyway. This Travel theme isn't really appropriate, because I say so. But I find it cute, so maybe.

I hope to write a coherent blog entry by next week. Until then. (-:

Mental List that I have to write down because my memory is bad:
1. Learn photoshop (so I can make my own template)
2. Organize photos
3. Portfolio
4. Learn HTML
5. Decide on new favorite colour
6. Include friends' blog links in new template, because memorizing a URL is too much for my brain. (I read all your blogs! That's what I do all day!)
7. Write in Filipino more
8. Blog about the Ever Bilena ad tagline: The Secret for a Beautiful New You
9. Blog about Aiza Seguerra, Batista (and other stuff about Eat Bulaga Saturday Sept 9 2006)
10. You don't have to tell everyone everything
11. Hey reader, use Firefox!
12. (Turn and face the strain.)

Mutant chicken attacks!

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:10:00 +0000

Today I ate dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets that have been living in our freezer for three months already. My father apparently forgot that we had them. And so he unearthed the box from the depths of the monster freezer and together we ate the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets dipped in some sauce.

It still tasted yummy. Foodies in the US scare me. 50% preservatives, 30% unknown material, 20% very much unknown material. KFC mutant chicken! I don't eat at KFC here, parusa, kasi ILoveKFC! I don't eat at KFC here because the mutant is a chicken, the chicken is a mutant. Poor chickens. :-(

Blahblahblahblah.

That's all I ever say these days.

PS: My brain has been functioning better here. It seems.

At 5 am, the world is blue.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 17:22:00 +0000

The air is clean, lazy and unaffected.

Early mornings in the countryside are lovely, there is the smell of grass, horse/cow manure, laughter from the night before, and expectations of the day to come.

Freeze frame one 5 am moment, and you get the bluest cloudless sky.

This city is maddening. 5 am in the province sounds like a real treat.

5 am near the sea? Yes please.

Current fixation on the scent of the sea and freshly-baked bread, brought about by Kal-El's comment here. Sigh.

Pasig is ♥.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 16:15:00 +0000

Jang and I went to Tiendesitas today. Beside it is the newly-opened SM Supercenter Pasig. Tiendesitas is charming, but the new SM is pffft. Partly my fault, why I was disappointed, really. Too much expectation can make your brain bleed when the expectation is, um, too much. Here’s a very serious conversation with Jang:

Kat: SUPERcenter? E supermarket at foodcourt lang ito? SUPERcenter na ito?
Jang: Baka talagang pang-grocery ito, hindi naman mall. May target market sila. Tsaka katabi na nila Tiendesitas, bazaar na yun, so ang ginawa ng SM pang-supplement na lang.
Kat: E malaki pa ang Megamall dito.
Jang: O, so?
Kat: E mas sikat kaya si Nora Aunor kay Sharon Cuneta.
Jang: Ha?
Kat: Si Nora Aunor kasi Superstar.
Jang: E si Sharon?
Kat: Megastar.
Jang: A si Nora ba ang Superstar?
Kat: Oo.
Jang: E si Vilma?
Kat: Star for all Seasons.
Jang: Aaaah.
Kat: Mas malaki naman ang super sa mega. Bakit nila ito pinangalanan na Supercenter, e wala naman makikita?
Jang: Mas sikat naman si Sharon ngayon.
Kat: Kahit na, may Megaman ba? ~~Wala naman~~, Superman meron pa.
Jang: *natatawa na*

Pero seryoso naman kasi ako. Pare, ang liit nung SM Supercenter Pasig.

Jang was right on the target market thing, though. It’s like a smaller Wal-Mart, generally. There’s the hypermarket (parang yung sa Bicutan), foodcourt, a Watson’s, coffee shop, thrift book shop and some other stalls. Isang floor lang sa isang kwadradong building. Pero may section pa siya na hindi bukas so baka nga it will have wider selections tutal kaka-open niya nung Aug. 19. Hobby ko na mang-okray ng ibang SM kasi loyal talaga ako sa Megamall. Hah.

Peace tayo, mga taga-Pasig. (-:

In fairness, ang linis linis linis linis ng Pasig. As in wow. Si Jang ang pumansin, ang linis ng Pasig City!

Anyway!

Kailangan ko na talaga ng trabaho.

Because I want:
Bangs (na bagay sakin. So gusto ko sana sa salon, first time ito)
Purple highlights
MotoRAZR V3i

at saka Chow Chow!

Teddy Bear Puppy! PuffyAdorableSquishableLovableHuggableLivingThing!!!

Segue: Bakit wala nang A&W sa Megamall?

Nami-miss na rin namin ni Jang ang Cindy’s. Kinwento niya kumakain daw siya ng paste dati. Sabi ko hindi pa ako nakakain ng paste, santan pa (yung matamis sa gitna). Sabi naman niya yung sa gumamela kinakain niya non. May kilala ako kumakain ng booger dati. Kung anu ano kinakain natin nung bata tayo. Ang cool.

Nag-start nang mag-bar exam si Jang last Sunday. May three Sundays pa siyang aalalahanin. Na-discover niya nung isang araw lang malambot pa yung bumbunan niya. Sabi niya baka yun daw ang repository ng mga napag-aaralan niya, may slight depression kasi, tapos ang lambot talaga! Please pray for Jang to pass the bar exams!

Nakaka-distract yung ulan wala na akong maisip isulat gusto ko na lang humiga at makinig sa ulan. Ang lakas ng ulan. Ang sarap. Matulog.

Pahabol: This is sad.

Photo from the coolest website on Earth.

What September means.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 16:31:00 +0000

Today is Baguio Day. “Happy Baguio Day!” was what Jang heard me say numerous times today, just as I tell her “Happy Monday!” or “Happy Thursday!” –- on, erm, corresponding days of the week.

So anyway, today is Baguio Day. On the same day last year I was in Session Road covering a parade and a protest rally. Also, this month last year I was agonizing over something that included choosing. So I chose Manila, and hasn’t been really okay ever since.

My heart will always be somewhere in Baguio. All this moving around and staying still is caused by that episode which we shall now call Leaving Baguio and Not being Okay with It.

So anyway, Christmas said hello today. A Baguio breeze came in the house this afternoon, and I was reminded of Burnham Park on a foggy day. And about how, on a rainy September schoolday, kids in raincoats sleepily waddling through puddles can cheer me up.

I miss Baguio everyday it makes me cry. Surely each one of us has That Place –- where we dream of returning to again and again, where our heart is happiest, where memories are the sweetest.

I miss the fog, most of all.

Ilocano chatter in jeepneys. Smile from a stranger in Session Road. The long and winding South Drive. The Pines Hotel ruins (SM Baguio to you now, bleah). Dominican Hill. That chapel near Breha. Red Cherries. Shawarma Buddidarma. Oh My Gulay! Gobi. The bustling art scene. Handsome old men in bulky jackets and mufflers. Baguio haunts that only locals know. Ayuyang. The fact that I can walk from one place to another without being mutated by pollution. Dropping by at Sir Godo’s for some pep talk. Sir Pyx and his engulfing laugh. Pizza with Jang after work and school. Two blankets and the cold still bites. Moldy sweaters. The market. Strawberries. Plump ones. Cheap plump strawberries. Cheap plump obese strawberries. Cheap plump obese sweet strawberries.

I can go on forever.

And whatever they say about Baguio getting uglier, what the hey, it will always be beautiful for me no matter what.

Filipino Christmas is here! Hello to cold nights and Baguio memories. Hello to bittersweet moments, and hello (again) to hoping for things to get better.

Merry Christmas. (-:

Hey, future lawyer.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:56:00 +0000

So, September is almost here. I can’t imagine how anxious you must be right now, for you don’t only have the upcoming bar exams heavy on your shoulders, but also the high expectations of practically everyone you know in Baguio (and in the Philippines, and outside the Philippines) as well.

Punkin, I know how much you want all this pressure to be over so that you can crash hard and relax after almost five years of nonstop studying. I know how much you want to pass the bar and be a lawyer. I know how much it will mean to you.

I wish the best for you, little feet. There’s nothing much to be said these days aside from I love you so much, and I want things to be okay for you. It will mean the world to me if I see you happy and fulfilled.

After the bar exams will be another long, agonizing wait for the result, and I want you to know I will be there for you. Thanks for knowing that however far we are from each other, that we are still together – always together.

The last four years have been the happiest, most colorful, most frustrating and most inspiring period of my life. This year has been our hardest and I want to thank you for sticking around, and trying your best to be the stronger one.

So much has been said, and there is so much more to be said. You know how much this relationship means to me, or maybe you never will, because neither I can imagine what this love has done and will do to me … it is that enormous, I guess.

There are more hardships to come. My family’s difficulty to accept us, most of all, weighs us down. We’ve gone too far now to go back, and so I assure you that I will march on and make things right, just so we can someday shout to the whole world how much we mean to each other.

I love you every day, Punkin. I am so glad you were born.

Happy 25th!

Vanity Post.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 17:08:00 +0000

Maybe my Statcounter is shitting me?

It says there that some people actually spend more than an hour reading this site. It's either they leave the page open and do something else, or they really read through the archives! Cool.

Anyway, I have readers from Saudi Arabia and France (Hello!), and on some day a South American country pops up in my stats. But from the details, it's clear the person randomly got here because of some Google search about a topic that has nothing to do with this blog. Still, there are those who actually come back!

So okay, what am I talking about? Statcounter, Site Meter whatever. If you have a blog, get it! You'll encounter some interesting things, I promise. (-:

The point of this post is, I want to say Hi to those who take time to read this blog and I want to thank those who email me such sweet words.

I don't think I can ever say it enough: It means so much to me.

LongAss Livejournal Entry.

purplerevolt@gmail.com (Kat) — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 10:01:00 +0000

In which I inflict on you the sickness that is boredom.