While I'm still working on the transfer from Blogger to Wordpress... pansamantala muna akong nag-a-update sa aking Livejournal. Okay!

I'm having difficulty transferring the archives! Phew. I already messed up my webspace and archives and the Wordpress application installed by Ate Sienna. Ang sakit sa puso.

(Mga ten years pa bago ko maayos itong tissuepaperworld. Malapit na!)

Siguro pag mahaba na uli ang bangs ko.

En is leaving for Canada. (I don't know when because he won't say.)

Mama is leaving for LA next month.

Vanny might leave for London this year.

Jang might leave for Italy after the bar exams.

Leaving and being left, what's the difference? It's all just about sadness.

When I came back from Las Vegas, so much has changed, and yet so much remained the same. I wish that when these people come back (if they ever will), I wish... I wish that there will be some changes, but that there will also be familiar things.

What makes us come back anyway? What makes us leave?

Today is a sad day. All this Buddhism stuff on living in the moment is sometimes so hard to live by. Because I end up concentrating on a minute, a second, a millisecond, when it's supposed to be more than that. I don't know. Now I'm typing this and I'm trying hard to just type this, focus my mind on typing this, no past no future, just typing this, finding joy in typing this blog entry.

Or when I'm crying I focus on crying, no other moment but that, crying I'm crying I'm crying now now now, nothing else matters. But what was the reason of this crying episode anyway? And then there it is! A past! A future! And so I tell myself the only thing that matters is the now, you're crying, just cry, just cry.

I'm eating a burger, I should just focus on that burger. I'm eating the pickle now, I'm wiping the ketchup from my lip now, I'm crumpling the wrapper so I can bite this part of the bread now, I'm chewing now, chewing chewing chewing chewing... I'm swallowing, THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS, THIS MOMENT IS ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS

No past no future!

Do not allow the past to get you, don’t be attached to the past because the past is already gone. Do not allow the future, worries about the future, to get you, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be truly alive, and that is the present moment. All the wonders of life can be touched in that moment. So the Buddha was clear on that. Everything belonging to life is there in the present moment; the blue sky, the beautiful face of your child is there, available in the present moment. If you get lost in the future, in worries about the future, or in sorrow about the past, life will not be available to you. So the basic condition is to go back to the present moment, to allow yourself to be touched by the wonders of life. -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Live in the moment, live in the moment. I'm going to click the publish button now, THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

BatJay (Mga Kwentong Tambay ng Siraulo sa Timog Kalipornya. Panalo Ito.)
Gerry (Photoblog of a Guy with the Grooviest Hair I Ever Saw)
Ate Sienna (Gay Speak is the Bomb! And her posts are hilarious! Hello Ate Sienna!)
Heather (Her writing is both funny and poignant. She also writes here)
Waiter Rant (Coolness.)
BahagHari (One Word: Malupit)

You might never want to eat at KFC. Ever. Again.

Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.

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PS: I miss Vegas.
I wish the past wouldn't just sneak up on us and make us feel so low.
got this from waiterrant: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

It's late and sleep isn't coming yet. Since I came home my sleeping pattern has been screwed up. I force myself to sleep, I force myself to get up in the morning. Everything nowadays is about forcing myself. I just want to want again. I want to want something so badly. It's sad I seem to have forgotten how good it feels to want something with all my heart, to work hard for it, blahblahblah. I'm stuck fuck.

Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.
Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.
Do you have any interesting website/s to recommend? Gimme gimme. Thanks.

I wake up thinking of Baguio, and of how cold it must be there now. One September morning in the city I am in love with, wow.

If my feet aren't that frozen (because the blanket always ends up on the floor), I get up and look out the window to see how things are outside. If it's raining, a Baguio morning will look really drab, but somehow you just know that the day will turn out okay.

I like the long walk to the waiting shed, the ocassional dog shit, how the cold makes my nose hurt, how my jacket is snug and warm, how the pine trees are proud, how the first jeepney that comes can only load 12 people, how there is one more seat for me, how things seem to fall into place... in this little city where my heart soars and sings.

Mandaluyong is a dream, too. If I think about it harder, and with conviction, Mandaluyong is where I really should be. Because whenever I am not in this city where I grew up, I always long for it's familiarity, too.

Sometimes I wonder if Mandaluyong takes offense when I yearn for Baguio like I do now.

In other news, what was it that you wanted to say about my all-natural underarm hair?

(see post below, the photo is still there)

Because someone emailed to say that:
1) I should always activate the comments
2) I should do better things with my life

Guess what? This is my blog. And I will do what I please. Woohoo. (And because I want to, comments are allowed for this post.)

Good morning and good night.