I was on the jeep a few minutes ago and along Boni Avenue we passed this carwash shop from where a mist was billowing out onto the street. It looked (but did not feel) like fog, and my heart skipped a beat. I miss you.
I’m trapped in these starts and stops, love. For numerous times since August (the last time we saw each other) I was occupied with this gargantuan task of hoarding enough strength to finally get on a bus and go to you. About three times I got thisclose. I actually sent text messages letting people know that I was coming, just so I would actually come. Buy a ticket, get on a bus, see you. It’s so easy. But I’m a coward because I love you too much and I am enveloped, each time, by fear.
My dear Baguio City, I miss you so much it manifests as an actual throbbing pain. This June it will have been 10 months since we last saw each other, this is the longest I haven’t been to you in the last 12 years. I miss my friends, your smell, your alleys, the fog, those misty mornings and afternoons, and most of all, who I am when I am with you.
My world, love, for just one more day with you.