Kape, ito ang Sagot.

So okay, I just want to tell the Internet that I am in an ugly place right now. I can’t write on my journal, I don’t want to see anyone (except Jang) and I’ve been sleeping really late (and getting up really late) for days now, I haven’t been taking regular baths, I’ve been listless, cranky, very stinky and all those other things that come together for no apparent reason… one moment I’m giggly the next moment my mouth is foaming because of so much rage. This is frustrating, I just want to put a finger on what my problem is so that I can deal with it so that I can stop being cryptic because it annoys me that I can’t understand myself I just want to know what is wrong I just want to know what I want or maybe I do know what I want but I’m too scared to admit that I am scared and I know I have to do something because if I don’t do that… thing… I will die, but things are too fucked up and I don’t want to be selfish but really, all this staying in bed the whole day bullshit is very selfish already.

Anyway.

I just wanted to say that I still want to write. I want to get better. I want to maintain this blog and I don’t know what I’m saying this for except that maybe I just wanted you guys to know that I will continue writing here because I really believe that my writing is the only thing that’s keeping me together and it kind of helps to know that somewhere out there are people who actually read this and you may or may not understand me all the time but it’s comforting in this weird way to know that my words reach someone and I may never know if you will listen to me if I were saying these things out loud but thank you for reading this, for taking time to read this and I just want you to know it means a lot to me.

Posted by Kat on Friday, August 18, 2006 at 8/18/2006 11:10:00 PM | Permalink