I was with a girl for 7 years. During that time, I referred to myself as gay. I was still attracted to the opposite sex though, (especially their nice arms) but since I was with a girl, I believed then that my present relationship “determined” my leanings.
After that relationship ended, one of the first things my friends asked me was “Is it going to be a boy this time?” And my answer was “I don’t know.”
Sure, after those 7 years, I was on the lookout for a girl for some time. But I eventually understood that it wasn’t a girl per se that I liked – it was the person. I fell in love with my ex for who she is (intelligent, decisive, sincere, laughs with her eyes, finds joy in doing stuff with her hands), and not because she is a girl. How then do I label myself now? – was the question I and my friends had. And over time I saw it as just that – a label.
What I am sure of is I’m not straight, that at any time I may be attracted to a girl again, that it’s possible a boy will catch my fancy.
This is kind of hard for some people to understand. I know of boys who decided against pursuing me upon knowing of my past, and there are some who had the balls to say that “they can make a straight girl out of me.” So very amusing.
So here it is, really: I am attracted to a person who’s funny and creative, who can laugh at one’s self, who listens, who can distinguish between money and passion, who has a strong sense of family, who likes good food and conversations.
It’s that simple. When I told friends that I am into a boy these days, this is the question I got: “Wait, so you’re not gay anymore?” And my answer is a laugh at first. And then (because it’s always a fun thing to do: To Explain.) I slowly say, “It just so happens that it’s a boy this time, I’m open to any possibility, I haven’t closed any door.”
I am for the legalization of same-sex marriage. I am all for equality. I don’t let past any hate-comment about the gay community. I respect people’s right to choose.
There was a long-winded entry in my head before I actually wrote this, but in the end it all comes down to this.
“So, are you still gay?”
“Let’s just say I’m open to anything.”
